Roots and Wings
It has been said that there are two lasting gifts a parents can give a child. One is roots and the other wings. My roots are in a house at the bottom of a hill, nestled deep in a beautifl cul-de-sac in Bellevue. Family card games echo down the halls. Sights of my parents sitting on the love seat, sharing a glass of wine at the end of the day replay over and over in my mind. The smell of mom's spaghetti or seafood gumbo floating through the downstairs. As I stared at the piano basking in the sunlight let in from the new french doors, I could almost see her bony, elegant fingers pressing the keys, playing ballads from broadway musicals.
She is in the walls, in the mirrors, around the yard and in the kitchen. Yet, there is another presence I feel too......that of my dads. Even though it was my mom who did most of the raising, dad was always there to back her up or to help her in some way. She was the noise - he was the
"ummmph". She came to the soccer games and swim meets and horseshows..... he worked hard so that her and I could enjoy those things together (and of course he came out when he could, too!).
Before I was in junior high, my dad worked long hours to provide for his family. My mom felt very strongly about my dad coming home to a hot meal and a clean home. It was her way of showing him she was grateful. It was a rule that the dinner table had to be set by the time he got home.....and this was delegated to me. She also had to have a spotless kitchen when she cooked and that was my job too. For years, I fought her tooth and nail, saying, "Why do I need to clean it all up if you're just going to dirty it all up again?". She wouldn't give me a straight answer and always said to do it because she asked me to.
I understand it now. She didn't want things perfect for my dad because she HAD to. She WANTED to. She loved him so much, that she was willing to go the extra mile every single day just to show him so. She wasn't oppressed or forced or obligated...... she was in love. And now that I am too, I understand what it means to give on one's self every day. She took care of him and he took care of us all. And even though she was the one I remember most in my childhood, I have always had a peace about my dad...... they came as a twosome, a couple, one being. Where one was, you could find the other. Growing up with that gave me an iron-clad faith in love and an undying committment to have that in my own life.
My adoration and repsect for my father has grown so much in the past 3 months....... He is the most intimate link I have with my mom. And because of the fact that God made them one spirit and one being the day they took their vows, I can feel her when I'm with my dad......
And that........gives me wings.
posted by amyh @ 7:24 PM
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